Movie review: Prometheus

Ridley

Scott’s massive, scary, sci-fi thriller looks great. Almost great enough to distract you from all the gaping holes… (Warning: SPOILERS.)

Charlize Theron in Prometheus

“But, Ridley, that doesn’t make any… wait. Never mind. ‘Run straight,” was it? Mmmkay…”

There’s been huge hype for ages and an even huger marketing campaign. Some serious social-media focus where the PR content has been concerned (good job, guys!) and a cast with more heavyweights than an American talk-show audience. Ridley Scott back at the helm of a suspense-rich sci-fi/horror…. What more could you aks for?

Well, teeth for starters. Prometheus is beautiful, we cannot deny. And, it’s wonderfully crafted, by crew and cast alike. But that doesn’t change the fact that the film raises more “WTF” questions than it can afford to ask. And no amount of bluffing’s gonna convince us that Scott et al actually have a clue what’s going on, either…

Prometheus

[words: Gord Laws]

Michael Fassbender in Prometheus

Michael Fassbender: thrilled to receive his “actor of the day” award from Ridley Scott

Stars: Noomi Rapace (almost as cool as the name, “Noomi”), Charlize order viagra online Theron (bitter, gorgeous, wooden), Michael Fassbender (soulless-but-hot android), (Idris Elba – cool as ever)
Director: Ridley Scott (Alien, Gladiator)
Genre: Sci-fi/thriller/almost-horror
Releases: This previous Friday (June 08)

The deal:

It’s 2089, and archeologist/scientist-folk discover a series of ancient artifacts that hail from completely unrelated pre-historic, human origins. They all point to the same far-away solar system. The enormous Weylandt Corporation raises a quick trillion dollars, freeze a crew of scientists in sleep-chambers, and send them on a two-year journey across space, to a new, terribly scary planet, where they hope to find the humanoid aliens that “made” us.

Prometheus Ship

The trillion-dollar starship Prometheus: what could possibly go wrong?

Overseen by the friendly (albeit creepy and slightly sinister) android, David (Fassbender), they’re woken to go explore the ruins of a cave/spaceship/mountain-thing that they conveniently happen to land right next to when they arrive.

Inside, they discover mysterious, breathable air, and very optimistically take off their helmets. The like-humans-only-bigger-and-meaner aliens that built the place have mysteriously died, and there’s a generally gloomy vibe.

And then our friends discover a different alien that looks like a snake/labia hybrid. Obviously, they take off their helmets and try to play with it. Everything goes wrong…

So, is it worth seeing?

Noomi Rapace and the face of Prometheus

Noomi Rapace looking startled. Hint: it’s behind you, Noomi.

Ja. You kind of have to. Because there’s a lot of coolness about this movie. It looks awesome, Fassbender and Theron are both gorgeous, and it’s Ridley Scott directing what is (now widely revealed to be) an Alien prequel. But, most of the reason you have to go and see this is, well… so that you – like us – can get all indignant about how little sense most of the movie made, and how pointless a lot of the cast/story/behaviour/logic/bad-guy-aliens’-whole-mission-to-mess-with-us-in-the-first-place actually is.

This is nothing like as bad as the post-Arnie Predator spin-offs. And nothing like buy cheap viagra as good, scary, clever or disturbing as any of the original four Alien flicks. Disappointing, mostly.

MojoRating: 6.89002409146/10

Check out a video from the local screening and see what the Twitteratti had to say:

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Ridley Scott’s massive, scary, sci-fi thriller looks great. Almost great enough to distract you from all the gaping holes… (Warning: SPOILERS.)

“But, Ridley, that doesn’t make any… wait. Never mind. ‘Run straight,” was it? Mmmkay…”There’s been huge hype for ages and an even huger marketing campaign. Some serious social-media focus where the PR content has been concerned (good job, guys!) and a cast with more heavyweights than an American talk-show audience. Ridley Scott back at the helm of a suspense-rich sci-fi/horror…. What more could you aks for?
Well, teeth for starters. Prometheus is beautiful, we cannot deny. And, it’s wonderfully crafted, by crew and cast alike. But that doesn’t change the fact that the film raises more “WTF” questions than it can afford to ask. And no amount of bluffing’s gonna convince us that Scott et al actually have a clue what’s going on, either…

Prometheus
[words: Gord Laws]

Michael Fassbender: thrilled to receive his “actor of the day” award from Ridley ScottStars: Noomi Rapace (almost as cool as the name, “Noomi”), Charlize Theron (bitter, gorgeous, wooden), Michael Fassbender (soulless-but-hot android), (Idris Elba – cool as ever)
Director: Ridley Scott (Alien, Gladiator)
Genre: Sci-fi/thriller/almost-horror
Releases: This previous Friday (June 08)
The deal:
It’s 2089, and archeologist/scientist-folk discover a series of ancient artifacts that hail from completely unrelated pre-historic, human origins. They all point to the same far-away solar system. The enormous Weylandt Corporation raises a quick trillion dollars, freeze a crew of scientists in sleep-chambers, and send them on a two-year journey across space, to a new, terribly scary planet, where they hope to find the humanoid aliens that “made” us.

The trillion-dollar starship Prometheus: what could possibly go wrong?Overseen by the friendly (albeit creepy and slightly sinister) android, David (Fassbender), they’re woken to go explore the ruins of a cave/spaceship/mountain-thing that they conveniently happen to land right next to when they arrive.
Inside, they discover mysterious, breathable air, and very optimistically take off their helmets. The like-humans-only-bigger-and-meaner aliens that built the place have mysteriously died, and there’s a generally gloomy vibe.
And then our friends discover a different alien that looks like a snake/labia hybrid. Obviously, they take off their helmets and try to play with it. Everything goes wrong…
So, is it worth seeing?

Noomi Rapace looking startled. Hint: it’s behind you, Noomi.Ja. You kind of have to. Because there’s a lot of coolness about this movie. It looks awesome, Fassbender and Theron are both gorgeous, and it’s Ridley Scott directing what is (now widely revealed to be) an Alien prequel. But, most of the reason you have to go and see this is, well… so that you – like us – can get all indignant about how little sense most of the movie made, and how pointless a lot of the cast/story/behaviour/logic/bad-guy-aliens’-whole-mission-to-mess-with-us-in-the-first-place actually is.
This is nothing like as bad as the post-Arnie Predator spin-offs. And nothing like as good, scary, clever or disturbing as any of the original four Alien flicks. Disappointing, mostly.
MojoRating: 6.89002409146/10
Check out a video from the local screening and see what the Twitteratti had to say:

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13 Responses to “Movie review: Prometheus”

  1. Nick June 11, 2012 at 13:38 #

    The robot’s name is David, not Adam.
    What about the movie didn’t make sense?
    Like science (life) revealing answers to questions often poses more question.
    Like Alien (and 2001: A Space Odyssey), the questions that are left unanswered make the movie more interesting. Personally I’m over science fiction movies with cheap explanations to placate the droning hollywood watching masses.

    • Gord Laws June 11, 2012 at 16:06 #

      Right you are about the android’s name, Nick. My bad. I get my biblical “origin” names confused from time to time. Please don’t get me wrong and confuse my being irritated that this thing fails at being clever, with presuming that I like a low-bro idiot sci-fi.

      See, the original Alien portrayed a cold, bleak, industrial future. You felt for the entire cast, and then were amazed that Weaver turned out to be the “hero” after most/all of the other characters that you felt for had been ripped to shreds. Then, things like A Space Odyssey asked some serious, poignant questions about life, intelligence, awareness and everything…

      The questions this raised? “what the hell?” “Why the fuck?” “dude, WHY would you pet the labia snake?” “Why the hell did he drop the black stuff in the cup?” “What was the dude turning into before they burnt him to death for the second time?” “Why does the squid thing turn into a xenomorph when it gets into the bigger, paler ‘humans’?”

      And, most crucially…

      Why Charlize, didn’t you just run to either side when the spaceship was falling on you, FFS?”

      There’s the kind of questions that the directors plant in your mind. Then there’s the ones that aren’t answered because not enough thought went in in the first place…

      • Nick June 11, 2012 at 16:10 #

        And another: “Why hire a crew of blithering idiots who don’t know protocol when an audience is shouting it at them, when you’ve billions of dollars to spend on HR.”

      • Stacey Vee June 21, 2012 at 12:54 #

        Gord, aaaaargh! My eyeballs can never unsee that. Charlize is squashed by a spaceship? Spoiler-clown.

  2. Patrick June 11, 2012 at 15:42 #

    SPOILER ALERT!

    Gaping holes indeed. The entire premise for the plot seems to be a sham.

    - These engineer-aliens create humans. They leave us an “invitation” in various places and at various times during history, one of which is discovered on the Isle of Skye and dated to 35 000 BC.

    - The invitation is to a godforsaken planet where they do military research. There would be no reason to direct humans here other than to harm us (or to create the basis for some scary movie action).

    - Some 2000 years ago the aliens decide to destroy earth/kill humans and are about to set off to do this when the shit hits the fan at their facility.

    So here’s where I’m confused: It seems silly to have created us in the first place if all they wanted to do was kill us. Yet as far back as 35 000 BC they seemed to have had this intention. Also, puzzling is that they only actively acted on this intention 2000 years ago.

    There may be an explanation, but at this stage, to me, this detracts from the substance of the movie.

    • Nick June 11, 2012 at 16:08 #

      Hi Patrick.

      I offer a solution.

      Perhaps we were created as an experiment. One with an end-date to stop us from ‘running amuck’.

      Leaving hints as to where we should go, the end-date could be the day their experiment arrives at the moon to which rough directions were left.
      Our experimental humans have figured out how to get this far. Great, time to end said experiment.

      Or maybe, our population is part of a greater experiment. The xenomorphs (aliens) need a populace to act as hosts. Perhaps we were meant only for that?

      • Gord Laws June 11, 2012 at 16:14 #

        Perhaps, Nick.

        but then, Perhaps you – like me initially – are clutching at straws, presuming there’s some higher purpose when, i think, this has just been poorly thought out and offered such promise.

        If any of your ideas were in fact deliberate plot devices, there’d be much more to go on than just… well, guessing.

        And, the crew sucked. Weird Scottish guy? Lame pet-the-snake guy? Turn-into-ape-man boyfriend? I like the courageous pilot team. And I though Noomi’s name is cool. It’s Noomi. Awesome!

        Otherwise, it really did look awesome. And it really could have suggested some answers, if not actually given some.

    • Gord Laws June 11, 2012 at 16:09 #

      Yes, I thought of those too. Create us, give us “life” so to speak, then leave us an invitation so that, thousands and thousands of years later, we can find our way back to them and… wake them. So they can murder us.

      Erm, if they want our planet, they had it before they left us here. If they want to murder us, why “make” us. If their compound was intended to kill us, why wait for us to coem to them, so we can wake the one dude up, and then he can race back here like he needed an invitation or a map?

      • Nick June 11, 2012 at 16:13 #

        The experiment would run it’s course once we’ve evolved to the point that we can locate and arrive at a destination light years away?

        If we seeded ants with human DNA…
        It would be time to end the experiment when the ants arrived at CERN and started asking questions.

        Maybe the Engineers were ethically bound to destroying their creations if they ‘got to far’. Like abortions being ‘okay’ before a set date.

  3. Patrick June 11, 2012 at 17:44 #

    Hmm…it’s a stretch. An experiment running over thousands and thousands of years with its only purpose being the destruction of its creation in order to test a biological weapon…?

    a) I don’t think these are the actions of an evolved species.
    b) This is financially and militarily nonsensical

    • Nick June 11, 2012 at 17:52 #

      You assume the only objective of the experiment is the weapon at the end.

      What if human-kind is the primary experiment, with the biological weapons acting as the conclusion to the experiment AND secondary experiment.

      Also, a race that is able to put itself in stasus for at least 2,000 years, would have no concern over the length of time required to complete an experiment.

      a) A smart scientist will squeeze as many experiments into an action as possible.
      b) If the weapon is effective against their own (which we know it is), and is highly infectious (which we know it is). How better to test it as a weapon against your own (Engineer Civil war maybe), than to create an isolated populace of beings from your own DNA?
      You can’t assume a race as sophisticated as theirs would have any ‘financial’ concerns.

  4. Henre June 21, 2012 at 13:42 #

    “Space Jesus” – Some more “theories”
    http://cavalorn.livejournal.com/584135.html#cutid1

  5. Louis December 2, 2012 at 16:59 #

    I didn’t like the movie at all lol think I fell asleep a few times..

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